FT... My Fun Escape

There came a point when I really loathed Facebook. It became the source of my frustrations and insecurities. At first, I got excited because it made me hooked up with old friends and classmates but I saw things in there that broke my heart. I don’t wanna go into details though. But lately, Facebook particularly Farmtown has become a wonderful escape from reality. If I really want to forget my worries for a while, I visit my farm and busy myself plowing, planting, harvesting and buying items at the market as if it’s for real. There are times when I wish I could just stay in my farm forever. Most Farmtown addicts would agree with me that you lost track of time whenever you’re in your farm. I also take some time to visit my neighbor’s farms and gaze in awe at how lovely their farms are. If only I have so much time in my hands, I could create a farm like theirs. But I’m getting there one day at a time.

Here’s a virtual photo of me in my farm. Cute noh?

I Went Clubbing Last Night...

....and I really feel so old just seeing the young partygoers grooving to the music of Lady Gaga or Black Eyed Peas. It's my first time to be at the Loft's Penthouse and I just feel so out of place. In my younger days, I used to frequent these places but when you have kids going to these places is an additional expense. But another reason why I am not so fond of these places anymore is that I just hate the smoke, people shouting behind loud music, getting drunk, getting in trouble when you're drunk and the sight of young girls passing out in the middle of the dance floor. One girl passed out beside us in the sofa and she was wearing this skimpy dress. Good thing her boyfriend is still sober enough to assist her. I couldn't just imagine my daughters going to these places and getting drunk.
So, yeah I went clubbing last night and I had fun. I guess I can still groove a bit but what was important was really the fact that I was spending time with my hubby and some newfound friends albeit tipsy and the hangover the following day.

Let Me Say It Again..."I DO"

Nobody said it was going to be easy. Marriage, after all isn’t just a bed of roses. We go through a lot of experiences both good and bad.

I TRIED to made peace with the fact that for so long as I am in this marriage, I will have to make little sacrifices like staying up all night waiting for him to come home after a boy’s night out or a gig with the band, understanding the fact that he will have female friends that he will have to amuse from time to time or that he will have to unintentionally miss out birthdays and anniversaries. TRIED is the word because I haven’t reached that perfect peace yet. But I’m working on it because I’m in for the long haul. There are days when I question if what we have is worth keeping and if we’re dancing to the same tune. Sometimes I find myself dancing alone but it is in being alone that I realize we’ve gone a long way and I wouldn’t give it up for the world.

Unlike other couples, we were not one to brag “Oh, I married my best friend”. But everyday, we discover a bit of each other and our friendship blossomed somehow.

Dad,

The previous months have been tough for both of us. There had been major adjustments with the coming of the second baby and some other big leaps. Could it be the 7-year itch? Maybe we’re just jaded in some areas and it has affected our relationship. We’ve gone a long way and everyday I am thankful that we’re still together despite the differences, the many difficult episodes we have to go through the last 7 years. Thank you for bearing me out…my drama queen tendencies, my being inconsiderate and clingy. I will try my very best not to disappoint you and I hope you will also do your share in making this marriage work. Let’s continue to thrive and stay married for the rest of our lives. HAPPY 7 YEARS...all my LOVE!

Mhalou

On a happier note…

Our little girl just turns half a year older. She’s now 6 months and she has shown a lot of tricks already.

* She can now roll over with ease.
* She can hold her feeding bottle like a pro.
* She’s also started to eat (she started when she was still 4 months old) and boy is she a big eater!
* She shoves anything into her mouth.
* She’s good at pulling things including my hair.
* She’s got sturdy legs. She loves to kick especially when she gets excited. She could also stand but with me holding her of course.
* And she smiles, laughs and giggles a lot…such a happy baby indeed!

Being Human

There are days when you just want to shout and release all pent-up emotions that have been in the pipeline ready to explode. I just did! It was tough and it was rough. Painful words just spew out of the mouth like tongues of fire burning whoever gets hit. I am not confrontational and I talk in between tears which made me lose the battle most of the time. But I could be honest and I couldn’t keep my feelings for long. I just detonate in no time. If I am misunderstood, well I’m sorry, I am only human. I bleed when I know, see and feel something’s not right. I am just thankful for the tons of work at hand which I considered a welcome distraction.

I know I’ve been surrounded by negative vibes lately and it’s doing me no good. Well, I guess everyone goes through some rough phase sometimes. I wish the coming days will bring me some droplets of positivity. I couldn’t stand being this way forever.

Random Thoughts Today

I finally have on my hands the gift certificate for Cebu-Incheon-Cebu roundtrip ticket courtesy of Cebu Pacific. I’m still contemplating of really using the GC or just sell it. I’m having problems securing requirements for my passport. The NSO copy of my birth certificate isn’t clear so I need to have my folks back in Bislig get a copy from our local registrar. But they’ve been sitting on it for months now. Well, my father is having bouts with arthritis and can hardly walk. My mother got no time coz she’s working so it will never happen. I already have a ready buyer but as to how much I really don’t know. Anyway, I’ve decided not to use the GC. Incheon can wait.

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I’m not sure if it’s girl power or what but a few of my officemates are throwing their husbands out of the house and out of their lives. One husband was caught exchanging sweet text messages with a colleague. The wife freaked out of course, who wouldn’t? The other husband was forced out because of being irresponsible and a perennial drunk. The wife had enough and was giving the husband an ultimatum. The husband just brushed it off thinking the wife isn’t serious. Boy oh boy was she serious. I also had some issues with my husband the past week. What is it with husbands nowadays? They seem to be taking the wives for granted assuming that we’ll stick it out with them despite their flaws, stupidity and infidelity. Well, women now are independent and can definitely survive without them so they better get their acts together.

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I don’t want to blurt it out yet without seeing obvious results but this is just to remind myself of this quest. I’ve started eating less already. I realized that my food intake has been the main source of my weight problem. I have been eating less rice since last Monday --- only half cup per day. It’s tough considering that I am a certified foodie but I have to do this or else I’ll die early. I am also starting a habit of doing the morning walk around the village. This I haven’t sustained though since I always sleep past midnight and waking up early is such a chore. Last Saturday, I sweat it out with my sister in the badminton court. I guess, my groove is back and I wish to really keep it going and going until it becomes a part of my system. Wish me luck!

I'm Tired

This week has been a stressful one with Zabbie getting sick, some issues with the hubby and some inner struggle with self. I know I’ve been sweating the small stuff and I admit that I am to be blamed as well. I allowed myself to be stressed, to be hurt, to be fragile, and to be the sensitive one.

I just want to escape from all the negativity that’s sucking me whole. And I want to feel numb from all the pain. I wish I could do that without disappearing from the face of the earth.

Please say a prayer for me.